Patiently waiting (or not???)
Today was one of those days where you try to concentrate on the project at hand as to not allow your mind to wander on depressing thoughts. I am fortunate to work for an excellent company with an equally excellent boss...and co-workers. My day is filled with the crazy non-stop world of staffing...enough to keep my mind constantly occupied. It is GOOD to be that busy! Thoughts of getting to see your sweet boys face light up at the first sight of you coming to get him make your stomach do flip flops and threaten tears. My fellow co-workers are seemingly understanding of my mood swings...but I'm confident they really don't have a clue as to what my heart and mind are going through right now. I can’t take this stuff to work with me, as professionally it needs to stay at home. But, I can use work as a tool to keep my mind occupied!
To try a paint the picture of how I feel I want to tell others that have children (or someone VERY close to your heart) to imagine if you will that person in your arms. You watch them sleep and pray over them. Perhaps he/she is dribbling a ball down the field in a game of soccer, or playing on the jungle gym at the park. You see their smile - feel it when it is shown in your direction. Then, someone of authority comes and says he/she must go away. They were only on loan, and you must let them live with another family far, far away to where it is impossible to see or touch them. But if you do everything the authorities tell you, fill out the paper work and pay the money needed, there will be a strong consideration on your part and they may give them back to you. And so you do it. Because you want nothing more to give them once again a life of peace. A future. A faith. A FAMILY! And then you wait. And you wait. And you wait. Life goes on. You cope, but do not forget. "Soon" they say. "You will travel at this and that day". Then, "Nope! Sorry! Change of plans!" Then "Okay, now you can go soon". "No, wait! They changed their minds!" Am I painting a picture you can hold on too?
So you see...my life (and Johns equally) is torn between loving the family I have...all the projects at hand that demand my full attention, and of course cherishing every busy day. Every thing on my daily agenda that points towards normalcy...just so I can hang on to the threads of hope that one day, SOON, we will go get OUR son; born from another person, who was meant to be with us for the rest of his life...
And so, with that being said it is now the 6th of September, and still no word as to when or where those darn appointment letters are gonna show up. I look at those big brown UPS trucks and wonder if one is driving towards my home to bring me the 'envelope of joy" or in other words; the letter containing Olegs appointment date. There are plenty of others waiting too...Wonderful families waiting for the chance to go get their child. Speculations and guessing abound on the posting boards. But in reality no body knows what is happening...and you know us Americans; we want results and we want them NOW! I have learned one important lesson out of all of this so far - patience! God had given me ways to cope. My friend Trey told me once a short time back that God's timing is perfect...and I know in my heart that is true. But the fact still remains that there is NO customer service where the Ukraine is concerned. Perhaps the Ukrainians need to experience life lessons concerning microwaves...they are speedy and reliable. Or perhaps better yet learn a thing or two about milk - something that is immediately gratifying, wholesome and good far ya, and it does a body and mind good!
*Sigh* Come on guys! Hurry! Hurry! HURRY UP! Will ya?!
To try a paint the picture of how I feel I want to tell others that have children (or someone VERY close to your heart) to imagine if you will that person in your arms. You watch them sleep and pray over them. Perhaps he/she is dribbling a ball down the field in a game of soccer, or playing on the jungle gym at the park. You see their smile - feel it when it is shown in your direction. Then, someone of authority comes and says he/she must go away. They were only on loan, and you must let them live with another family far, far away to where it is impossible to see or touch them. But if you do everything the authorities tell you, fill out the paper work and pay the money needed, there will be a strong consideration on your part and they may give them back to you. And so you do it. Because you want nothing more to give them once again a life of peace. A future. A faith. A FAMILY! And then you wait. And you wait. And you wait. Life goes on. You cope, but do not forget. "Soon" they say. "You will travel at this and that day". Then, "Nope! Sorry! Change of plans!" Then "Okay, now you can go soon". "No, wait! They changed their minds!" Am I painting a picture you can hold on too?
So you see...my life (and Johns equally) is torn between loving the family I have...all the projects at hand that demand my full attention, and of course cherishing every busy day. Every thing on my daily agenda that points towards normalcy...just so I can hang on to the threads of hope that one day, SOON, we will go get OUR son; born from another person, who was meant to be with us for the rest of his life...
And so, with that being said it is now the 6th of September, and still no word as to when or where those darn appointment letters are gonna show up. I look at those big brown UPS trucks and wonder if one is driving towards my home to bring me the 'envelope of joy" or in other words; the letter containing Olegs appointment date. There are plenty of others waiting too...Wonderful families waiting for the chance to go get their child. Speculations and guessing abound on the posting boards. But in reality no body knows what is happening...and you know us Americans; we want results and we want them NOW! I have learned one important lesson out of all of this so far - patience! God had given me ways to cope. My friend Trey told me once a short time back that God's timing is perfect...and I know in my heart that is true. But the fact still remains that there is NO customer service where the Ukraine is concerned. Perhaps the Ukrainians need to experience life lessons concerning microwaves...they are speedy and reliable. Or perhaps better yet learn a thing or two about milk - something that is immediately gratifying, wholesome and good far ya, and it does a body and mind good!
*Sigh* Come on guys! Hurry! Hurry! HURRY UP! Will ya?!
posted by Kym at 10:10 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home